the pondering heart . . . not here, not now . . . 12/24/11

Dear Holy Friends, My house is loud, my sons are home and I am smiling . . even as I try to get away from their chasing me in their crazy voices! I think of Mary and Joseph and what this day was for them. I wonder how tough it was when Mary realized the time had come. Perhaps she prayed 'not here, not now.'   In His Grip, Chandra   Not Here, Not Now   Not here, not now, I just want to be home. It's not time, it cannot be, it's Joseph and me alone. Why a stable, not even a room, really there is nowhere to stay? I thought we'd get home in time, then the pains started today.   Not here, not now, God, is something wrong, Mama should be here, or someone at least why are we so alone? Can Joseph do this, does he know how? I wish your plan I could see. For at this moment in time I am beginning to doubt me.   Not here, not now, does Joseph know what to do? The star in the sky above us A sign sent to us from You? My faith is big but, trust feels small. I need to feel Your presence in this manger stall. . . . Not here, not now   ~Chandra Lynn Smith, updated 12/24/11~